Sunday, August 28, 2005

i feel kinda disturbed

um
by myself

long ago
ever since pri sch
no matter how much i care for a person
expressing them out just isnt the way for me
i cant do it.
end up doing things that'll hurt people i care for
end up regretting

well
since i nvr did say it out
lemme say this

i'm sorry for hitting you up so badly and in the end losing our frenship
i always wanted to send u greeting cards during occasions but i always didnt have the courage to
deep down, i just wanted to know how much u regarded me as friends ever since i said i'd change for the good.
whatever it is, i know it all boils down to what i've done. you've been a good friend i guess. ur tolerance towards me is wonderful and i know i nvr did cherish.
thanks peng yuan.

i always used to say: i'll be there for you, always be with u by ur side
now i am pretty horrified by it. cause i know all these are so superficial, at least i know for me it's hard to do it.

but i do wanna care
i wanna care alot alot
yet i am scared they become annoying
i dunno how to care for someone
although i always try but i end up pondering again.

'i guess there'll be other people to care for you'
'i guess you will be ok'
'i guess there are others that u'll open urself to'
'maybe i'll make things worst'
'i might be simply causing more of a nuisance'

i dunno how.

i guess it's pretty selfish this way
but i'm scared in a way too.


Heaven Knows by Rick Price

She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up 'til I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know
And though she's so far away
It just keeps gettin' stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

My friends keep tellin' me
That if you really love her
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in kind
I'll know she's mine
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all this time I act so brave
I'm shaking inside
Why does it hurt me so

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Heaven knows
Heaven knows