Wednesday, March 31, 2004
today...
nothing much today...
dunno why during TAF i run more and much faster than i used to... very very
nice feeling... it's like a feeling so fresh that you found ur self with enhanced ability...
will keep it up..
lessons on and on... 1st half of the day still dozing off like an idiot in class... really no idea how to get it over man..
next... after recess... much more better... attention level upz! could roughly
understand wads in for A maths!
after that is english extra lesson... sianz lor... summary... slpt for 5 min after
that... then go thru the points... =.= so lame...
whee... then is chem extra lesson for electrolysis... cleared most doubts...
why am i toking about studies now? lol..
wish to get into study mood asap...
reminds me of sec 3s taking over... nasir really became the SC president...
headache nia... another capable sec 3 gone...
dunno how it's gonna be solved man...
but... YAY! our csa gotten GOLD and eua gotten SILVER!
wheeee! another benchmark we set for the juniors... =]
that's all for today...
the bluish mood still lingers alittle actually... haha...
bnn strummed a note at Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
wad can i do...
perhaps nothing...
even when i try to really draw something on computer just now...
looks like.. =.=
such feeling accumulating in my heart is not very gd i suppose...
saddening for me la...
anyway... perhaps for those who read my blog and have such negative thoughts
at time might wanna try this:
-sit in a cross legged position... slowly close ur eyes, dun sleep!
-think of nothing except ur movement that is within u...
-breathe in deeply... imagine those that u breathe in as white light of hope and
new life....
-hold ur breath... let it run through and cleanse ur body...
-now exhale the air... imagine them as the dark karma that is within you...
let them all out... slowly and deeply...
-repeat this for 3 times
- open ur eyes slowly... and tell urself you have been cleansed...
honestly i think it helps!
may not be scientifically... but subconsciously it's pretty effective...
i shall try it tonite... hehe...
still kinda blue for today but it's ok... haha...
tml will be a better day... =]
bnn strummed a note at Tuesday, March 30, 2004
currently listening to sun yan zi's yan shen...
pretty sad feeling... making a little down actually also
bewildered by who i actually am... haha... maybe all along i'm really no one to
anybody... just all i know is that i at least someone in my family... hehe...
these 2 days back to sch i always feeling so slpy even tho yest i slp at 11 45
liddat... almost dozing off in most lessons... i tried to stay awake leh...
next is the sec 2s... kinda strange when i see some familiar faces i come
across during the camp... no matter wad... i've gained some new frens and
experience in a way or another...
taking bus 40 as usual home again and met the bus driver who always give a
nice smile and greet whenever u board the bus... so glad that singapore still have such people in the service line... very nice feeling =]
more inspiration for songs... more... makes me ponder over my own feelings
actually also... hopefully i can get it done soon... hopefully it will not be a sad
song... haha...
lastly... kinda great urge to hug someone... wanna feel and give warmth...
letting people know their existence and mine too... i know i am just dreaming... haha...
peace...
bnn strummed a note at Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Monday, March 29, 2004
kinda moody today but just temporary and now i'm fine =p
wads sad for me is that i am starting to drift apart from people in sgma...
like riku who was one of my great pal.. dunno for now?
maybe it's for fault for not being with them but i really dun have time sometimes..
saw a particular person's testimonials on frenster to his frens (which is mine also)
indirectly shooting me... am i really not fit to be a chairman???
in the past i dunno but i am really trying my best now...
trying my best to be a gd person also...
i rather be SNAG than punk...
but i am really learning...
awww... i'm ranting now... just pardon me for this moment...
now i am gathering more inspiration for some lyrics...
to love someone... learn how to love urself 1st...
i mean isnt that true? if not no one will treasure you...
and people ending up getting worried and hurt cos u dun treasure urself...
isnt it?
i'm having 'pms' la haha..
bless me...
anyway... going off soon for mother's bday...!
bnn strummed a note at Monday, March 29, 2004
really dun mind being sad and hurt alone..
wad really really hurts is to see such wounds
anyway... need some remedials on how to cheer people up
and relief their stress... such a failure on that...
seriously i need to find people to exercise with me...
need motivation also... haha... anyone....?
sadness must never be an option for me..
but sometimes it really hurts alot and alot.......
honestly i dunno wad i'm typing also anyway...
crazy right...
5 more wks.. hmmm...
this moment is 30 min after the start of my mom's bday...
wonder wad this son of his can do...
but wads most impt is i must celebrate with her...
must try to reach home by 5... which i dun think is possible...
extra lessons to make up after that stupid camp...
anyway i saw lilin's msn nick... i mean it's like really wow to see such
a nick...
"Whatever I do... is for you although you might never understand... But just smile coz it would surely brighten up my day..."
i mean... my sentiments...
SMILE!!!!!!! =D
bnn strummed a note at Monday, March 29, 2004
Sunday, March 28, 2004
i'm back in using this blog...
lol
yest back from camp and went out with vincent...
my pri sch fren...
he slimmed down damn alot... kaoz... until out of TAF... =.=
heck it... he's still my good brother and there's endless stuff to tok about..
haha...
went to watch the eye 2... um.. abit de unrealistic but story wise is ok la..
the part where the 2 ghost fall infront of the road abit de scary at the start
but started to become lame when they started to tok... =.=
that stupid camp... actually ok la... i've learnt another aspect of leadership
anyway.. some kids are guud but some with some attitude that i wanna
break their neck and smile at them
the tactiq instructors dragged their footwear for gdness sake... that's so =.=
anyway... hoped the sec 2s enjoyed it..
hmmm....
some bugger hacked into yf's blog... that's so crude and retard...
still hoping to see ya smile yf!
worries me to see her frown all the time nia... =.=
bnn strummed a note at Sunday, March 28, 2004
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
i realised this in the midst of doodling and sketching...
that is... think of the way u love someone... if he/she has someone in her heart, it's most probably the kind of mindset to towards the person is the same...
so... what i am trying to say is that if u look it as this way... it's just wad you do
as well...
i dunno but i find this enlightment a very very great lift off my weights at heart...
it's so much to an extent that i've learnt more again...
i can go on... i know i will
today is a good day to begin with...
bnn strummed a note at Wednesday, March 24, 2004
went crazy just to make the stupid logo for 'silent cries'...
still not very nice... gonna fix it soon...
haiz... i guess... one of the best trait in me is that i can heal myself along the
way even it's still in the midst of being hurt
unseen forces haha... life has to go on... to choose for wads most meaningful and happy for me...
i hope i will be...
haven even pack my bag for that stupid camp... always at this time of the day... sianz... haiz... gonna miss sch for 2 days... cannot imagine that...
uploaded a stupid pic of mine in frenster yesterday... kinda lame i know... but i actually quite like that pic...
wad can i say for now...? i guess... it's just... '...'
bnn strummed a note at Wednesday, March 24, 2004
lethargic...
dunno why these 2 days i've been yawning thru out the class... even in chem lesson... haiz... tml have to go for one stupid camp liao... if wanna find me can try sms me during the time... anyway...
bad feeling about it...
i wished i could be of more use...
bnn strummed a note at Wednesday, March 24, 2004
i know when i have mode this choice
i know that the road will be tough... i'm just not used.. i just need more time..
to get used to such...
pain nevertheless... it's just the starting...
this is more like a journal thru my heart than an online diary... i will be
contented... i know i will...
if only happiness is received... i will not have so much frown...
if only happiness stayed, i will not have worried...
everything can only be translated into such silence in me...
time passes slowly yet swiftly now..
all i know is.. that every moment i tried my best to be selfless..
may not be perfect but i am trying and i will still...
*pat on my shoulder*
and thanks for limu when i am sad or down... she will lighten my load...
really appreciate it... hehe...
*anyway... i change the font to impact... which is smaller... for those people who find it irritating... sorry anyway... it's my liking =p
bnn strummed a note at Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
i asked myself if it is worth it...
yes it is... i know in most cases things will not be what i expect to be... but... if happiness is shown... i'll be glad that i am here all along....
i've learnt... for the past year... found myself more matured... but still lack this bit of capacity in my heart and vision... asking myself to go on... i always do... for now...
wishing that i can express in ways i want... i decided that silence is the best way to... this is what i've learnt too...
often things are look upon as of so deep... but if it's of another point of view... not really... yes.. perhaps i'm already changing the view of living my life...
bnn strummed a note at Tuesday, March 23, 2004
uHHhh....
bnn strummed a note at Tuesday, March 23, 2004